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A Journey Towards Eternity

The Choice.
April 26, 2018 ibthompson​
 

SIX YEARS ago, a man I much respected made a choice, blinded by depression and darkness, to do what most consider unthinkable, and yet a handful think a solution. We lost our brother-in-law six years ago today… and only 3 years and 11 days prior, my father-in-law also succumbed to that same desperate darkness that consumes reason, overtakes the mind, and pushes the body toward its own demise… its own end.

SUICIDE. I’ve stood by and watched as suicide has rocked my husband’s family, my family, not once, but twice. Twice I’ve witnessed what it does to children, to spouses, to friends, from the front row. All the while, struggling to understand the “why”… yet knowing firsthand what it’s like to be completely and utterly lost in despair.

Confession time… I’ve been there. There was a time many, many years ago, when I had those unthinkable thoughts: a terrible, dark, and extremely lonely time. The worst of it… I wasn’t alone at all. I was surrounded by a loving family and supportive friends. Yet in those moments of wretched anguish I didn’t see it, I couldn’t see it. And I can guarantee to you, that those around me didn’t see my inner torment either.

I know many who have privately confessed the same to me, of being so broken that you just don’t see a way to lift yourself up. They share their stories of how they overcame their plight. Yet most will never openly admit it. And to be honest, I questioned whether I should make this confession to you all… that ever-present self-doubt always trying to creep in… thinking… “What will they think?” “What will they say?”

But WHY NOT talk about suicide!!! Seems pretty simple to me… STOP pushing it into a closet, people, and those who need help will come out of the closet!

THE LAST THING anyone who has a problem wants to do is admit they have a problem, least of all when they think their problem isn’t supposed to be talked about. They sit there, stewing in their demise. They bottle it all up inside and hope that no one around will notice, until one day it festers beyond anything they can control, and BANG. The lives of those left behind are forever changed, tinged with heartache, pain, and regret. “If I had known.” “How could I have missed it?” “Why didn’t he/she ask for help?” Let’s do ourselves and the world a favor… let’s not only open the closet, let’s take the twisted door off!

#BeThe1To ASK! If you have the slightest suspicion… ASK! And even if you don’t, ASK. And by all means, let those you love know you care, just randomly, unprovoked. Send a message in the middle of the day, “Wanted to let you know I’m thinking of you and hope you’re having a great day!” Call someone when you have a few minutes. Ask them how they’re doing, but do it with sincerity:

You: “How are you?”
Them: “I’m good thanks.”
You: “No, really… How ARE you? How you feeling these days?”
THEN… LISTEN…  and act when you need to.

Personally, I didn’t do it the right way. I didn’t seek help from the people around me. So don’t think that someone will come to you if they need your help. I found a way to find my inner strength to push the demons away by turning to my faith. Christ saved me. He saved me without medication or therapy sessions. Because Christ does what only He can do… He created a miracle. But I know that not everyone’s heart is ready to receive that type of healing… not everyone can do it alone. So be on your guard… ALL the time.

AND SO… I hope and pray that these words will echo in someone’s mind, someone who may only see one option, someone who needs to hear that what they currently think is impossible, IS INDEED VERY POSSIBLE… mark me, you can come out of that deep abyss you’re in and LIVE!

TO THAT PERSON WHO WALKS IN DARKNESS I speak now…

You’ve heard it a thousand times… suicide is not an option. That is but a cliché to you, but I say it’s the truth.  You think those around you don’t really care, yet I can guarantee you that they do.  You think joy is lost to you, a fantasy that will never be, and perhaps you envy those around you who are happy. You think, “why do they get to be happy and I don’t?” You teeter between self-pity and anger. You think that if this is the only way you can live that it’s better to just go away. Listen now, NO.

THE HARDEST STEP IS THE FIRST STEP.

It’s ok to ask for help. It’s ok to reach out to someone, even someone you don’t know, and say, “I don’t know what to do.” Aid will come, and no one will think less of you for it. Before you right now is a grand opportunity to experience joy, but only you can take that first step. Only you can wake up, stand up, and say to the world around, “I may not see goodness yet, I may not know what that’s like yet, but I have faith that it’s there. I want to have faith that it’s there.”

Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. (Hebrews 11:1)

Let me plant the seed of hope in you. I tell you that seed will be your salvation. Find a reason to hope, however small that may be, that you may focus on that seed of hope for the one minute you need to call on someone’s help, and one day you will see that seed blossom to allow you to one day be able to see the beauty all around you. It won’t come overnight. Don’t set unreasonable expectations, for that will only serve to disappoint. But today you are fully capable of taking that first step, and even if you don’t believe it yet, think it… you are loved and there is a better way! Reach out to hope. Make the right choice.

Irene

https://ibthompson.wordpress.com/2018/04/26/the-choice/

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-237-8255